Oh boy.. what have I gotten myself into.. lol.

Guh.

I like him, but I am pretty sure I'm going to screw it up. And I'm definitely not used to going about things this way; I actually feel awkward which I never used to have to worry about. I guess it's because I feel so cautious and tentative. If this gets messed, which is highly likely, I'll lose so much more than the person I'm seeing. I'll lose the best friend I have here and that's why it's so complicated. It's also so different from anything else I've ever done before, which is mainly which I'm doing it.. because nothing I have done thusfar has been good for me lol. I get really giddy thinking about having somebody who wants to be with me, but I am SO tense and awkward around him. It's fucked.

Annnnd I need to study for my microeconomics exam tomorrow.. but I know that all I'll get done tonight is spending the entire time with him. Not that it's a bad thing. It's just a messed up thing.